The Sauna Part 275

“Baby, what’s wrong? Were you crying?” Jon demanded as he ran over to where I was standing.

“Nothing, love. Really. I’m fine. I was just moved seeing you in your element” I replied.

It wasn’t a total lie. It was watching his perfect performance that had started my mind spinning.

“Darlin’, you’ve seen the show over and over. It’s nothing new” he persisted, not buying my excuse for a moment. “Were you and Jim arguing?”

“No, we just see certain things a bit differently, that’s all” I explained, smiling brightly.

Please Jon, please. Just leave it alone. Not now. Not tonight. I need time to think. I didn’t want to have this conversation right here, right now. All I wanted was to lose myself in his loving. To feel his strong arms around me, soothing the doubts I was beginning to feel about myself. My eyes pleaded with him to just let it go. At least for now.

Jon looked searchingly into my face and I saw the questions reflected in his shining blue eyes, but he let it go. Jim shrugged his shoulders and walked away when Jon turned his attention to him and I put my arms round his neck and drew him in for a kiss. His mind was still working, but his body responded and he whispered hotly in my ear.

“Let’s get the hell outta here” he suggested and I didn’t argue.

We made our way back to the hotel room, leaving Jim and the guys to handle the fans at the after-party. Jon scooped me up in his arms and carried me off to the bed, instinctively knowing I needed him. He laid me down gently and stripped off his clothes while I peeled off my jeans and he tugged my shirt over my head.

“Baby, I want you” he breathed into my ear.

I pulled him down closer and he plunged his lance into my welcoming wetness. I shifted my hips and encircled his waist with my thighs, gripping him tightly, as I bucked in reply to his rhythm and he deftly nibbled the sensitive spot on my shoulder. I moaned my appreciation as a ripple of electricity shot through my body and I felt my contractions beginning to milk his depleted reserves.

Jon’s fingers were achingly tender as he reached down to stroke my trembling flesh and I fell over the edge, calling his name. His own release was not far behind and I felt him stiffen and tense as my body rocked him along with my wave. He collapsed alongside me and drew me into his arms, stroking my hair as he kissed me softly on each of my eyelids, soothing the pain in the only way he knew how.

“I love you, Jon” I murmured into his neck.

“I love you too, Trish” he sighed in reply, cradling me in his arms as I fell deeply asleep.


***************


Jon lay awake, wondering what could have happened to have changed my mood so abruptly from playful to somber during the show. He ran through his setlist, noting nothing unusual, and knew that it had to be something that happened between me and Jim. He couldn’t imagine what sort of argument we might have had, but he was determined to find out.

He carefully pulled away from my sleeping form and rolled to the edge of the bed, quietly pulling the covers around me as I snuggled into the warmth. He crept out of bed and slipped on his jeans and a t-shirt as he watched me slumbering peacefully, closing the door silently as he stepped into the hall.

“Yeah, what is it?” Jim answered irritably as Jon pounded on his door.

“Hey man, open up. I need to talk to you” he bleated back with some urgency.

The door opened slowly and Jim stood in his robe, staring at Jon with a rather annoyed expression. He motioned him in nonetheless as he’d learned by now that Jon got what he wanted and it didn’t seem worth the effort to argue. He hadn’t been sleeping as it was anyway.

“Christ, man, it’s after two o’clock in the morning. What’s so important that it can’t wait ‘till tomorrow?” Jim grumbled.

“Trish” Jon replied succinctly.

“Oh” Jim responded without much enthusiasm.

“What the fuck happened out there tonight?” Jon began with implied accusation.

“You two are really something! You really deserve one another. You both could screw up a wet dream!” Jim said bitterly as he walked to the frig and cracked open a beer.

Jon was momentarily thrown off balance as he hadn’t expected such a caustic retort, but he recovered quickly and spun Jim around to face him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he sputtered, somewhat affronted.

“You didn’t do anything this time, Mr. Perfect. It’s just Trish and her unwarranted need to punish herself for not feeling good enough to deserve you” Jim snapped, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Jon’s mind was reeling with this information and some of his anger with Jim began to subside as he concentrated more on trying to understand what had happened. Clearly Jim knew something he didn’t know and he wanted the story, not some heated argument. He took a deep breath and sank down in the chair, keeping his voice steady as he prompted Jim to go on.

“I’m listening” he said calmly.

“You and Trish, man, it’s like some twisted fairy tale. You finally find each other after lifetimes apart and it seems like the two of you can’t just accept that you’re blessed. You nearly blew it when you trusted your brother and somehow she thinks it’s her fault for not paying closer attention. I’ve known her for years and no one has ever invested more in her work than Trish. Trust me, I know. She finally learned to let go and just let herself love you and look at what happened! Her devotion to you made her less careful and now she’s blaming herself for the mess with the Fan Club when you’re the jackass who didn’t listen!” Jim spat out harshly.

Jon sat there in stunned silence, trying to absorb what he’d heard. Trish was blaming herself? That didn’t make any sense. She’d tried to warn me about Matt several times and it was me who hadn’t been paying attention. And as far as not feeling good enough? It’s me who isn’t good enough to deserve her, he thought miserably.

“Jesus” Jon muttered absently as he ran his hands through his hair.

“You really don’t know just how lucky you are, do you? You’re just used to getting whatever you want and you take it for granted that Trish made you the center of her world” Jim chastised him softly.

“I just didn’t realize…” Jon sighed heavily.

Some of Jim’s venom withered away as he realized that Jon really loved me with all of his heart and he was doing the best that he could to make sure I knew it. His own pain evaporated now that he’d spoken it aloud for the first time and he resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t the one as he tried to undo the wounds his words had inflicted.

“You got what I always wanted; I can admit that. But I know that she loves you more than she could ever have loved me. I know now that you really love her and I want you both to be happy. Just don’t fuck it up again or I won’t stand aside” Jim said with genuine regret.

“What can I do, man? How can I fix this?” Jon wondered aloud.

“Just show her that you really are proud of her, even when things don’t go so smoothly. She sees you on stage and the well-oiled machine of Bon Jovi and then reflects on her own mistakes in comparison. Can’t you try and to dispel the myth that you’re perfect on a more regular basis? You know, show a little chink in the armour once in a while? Let her see the little mistakes that you make all the time and not just the polished product, man” Jim advised.

“That doesn’t sound hard. Maybe then I can avoid a major fuck up like the last one? I would have thought that was enough proof that I ain’t anywhere close to perfection” Jon smirked with humility.

“Yeah, you’d think so, wouldn’t you? But maybe you should try a bad hair day now and then” Jim grinned back at him. “But seriously, don’t let her get so absorbed in her job, trying to follow your lead that you both drift apart. Job’s are just jobs, she’s your life, man. Nobody ever died wishing they’d spent more time at work” he added wisely.

“You love her too, don’t you?” Jon observed with circumspection.

“Yeah, man, I’ll always love Trish, but I love her enough to let her go” Jim reassured him.

Jon walked back to our room and slipped inside without making a sound. I was still fast asleep and he stripped off his clothes and climbed in beside me. He lay there for a few moments, watching the steady rise and fall of my chest as I breathed in and out peacefully, lost in my dreams. He reached out his arms and folded me closer, taking comfort in the familiar scent of my perfume and the warmth of my body.

“I love you more than anything in this world or the next” he whispered reverently as I curled myself tighter against him.