The Sauna Part 272

Saturday morning arrived and we woke feeling refreshed and renewed as our bodies were finally adjusting to the time change and we were on a more normal schedule. Jon stretched and yawned, drawing me into his arms as he kissed the sleep from eyes. I buried my nose in his neck, inhaling his scent and luxuriating in the comforting warmth of his body.

“So, wife, what’s the plan for the day?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“Tasmanian devils!” I grinned eagerly.

“Should we invite the guys on this adventure?” he wondered aloud.

“Absolutely!” I chirped.

I sat up and reached for the cell phone to call Richie and Jim as Jon called the front desk and ordered coffee. Richie answered in a voice thick with sleep.

“Hullo? Trish, what time is it?” he asked, sounding a bit disoriented.

“It’s just after seven and we’re heading to the Healesville Sanctuary right after breakfast. Wanna join us?” I asked excitedly.

“Sanctuary? Where is it?” he wondered aloud, still trying to shake off the morning fog in his head.

“It’s about an hour from here. They have Tasmanian Devils, wallabies, dingoes, …even platypuses! C’mon, Richie, it’ll be fun!” I encouraged.

“Someone’s been on the internet again” he replied indulgently. “Of course I wanna come; lemme hop in the shower and I’ll meet ya for breakfast” he grinned, forcing himself out of the comfortable bed.

“Sounds like a plan!” I beamed and proceeded to call Jim and the others.

Jon had the shower going and I joined him after extending the invitation to all the guys. Richie and Jim were on board, but the others begged off, preferring a less action-packed day.

“It looks like it’s just you, me, Richie and Jim” I pouted, stepping in alongside Jon as he nuzzled my neck.

“S’okay, babe, the others just can’t keep up with you” he smiled.

“Am I wearing you out too? Am I pushing too much?” I wondered, realizing they really weren’t used to all this sightseeing during a tour.

“No, darlin’, I love the fact that you get so excited about seeing the countries we visit. To tell you the truth, I’m glad you’re shaking up our routine. This tour’s been more fun than I’ve had in a long time” he reassured me with a kiss.

We finished our shower and had just gotten dressed when Richie knocked on the door. I welcomed him in and poured the last cup of coffee for him while we waited for Jim to arrive. Richie looked a bit haggard, but the coffee began to revive him and I pulled up the website on the computer so he could see where we were going. Jon looked over my shoulder and noticed the wine and wildlife package that was offered.

“Hey, let’s call and see if we can get reservations for that!” he chimed in.

I handed him the phone and he dialed the number but frowned when he was told they were completely booked up for the day. Richie and I exchanged grins as we listened to Jon work his magic as he tried to charm his way into a reservation. He grinned back, nodding his head, as he thanked the person for managing to squeeze the four of us in at the last minute.

“Damn, man, you’re good. How’d you finagle that one?” Richie teased as I heard Jim’s knock on the door.

“Just my natural charm” Jon answered with a smirk.

“Yeah, right, and a generous donation I’ll bet” Richie laughed.

“It is a good cause-they do have a wildlife hospital, ya know” Jon nudged him back.

Jim had arrived and we headed down for a quick breakfast while the desk clerk arranged for a limo. I tried the infamous ‘Vegemite’, but I crinkled my nose as I didn’t care for the malty taste of the stuff. We scarfed down a more traditional meal of eggs, homefries and bacon and headed off for adventure, arriving at the Sanctuary just before ten o’clock.

The sun was shining overhead in a cloudless, blue sky as we met up with our tour guide who gave us an introduction to the variety of animals we might see. Jon and Richie were especially fascinated by the Lyrebird, who was capable of mimicking almost any other bird in the forest as well as a number of man-made mechanical sounds. I was anxious to see the Tassie Devils and the platypus, as well as the wombat, but these all took a backseat to the little echidna once our guide finished his tale.

We learned that the seemingly unimpressive little creature, which looked much like a cross between a porcupine and a hedgehog, actually has a four-headed penis and that females were designed in a way that would accommodate up to two heads at a time. Our puzzled looks prompted our guide to explain that, like reptiles, half of the male penis shuts down during sexual encounters which allows him to “fit” the female and remain ready for round two, keeping the other half in reserve. Apparently this was a rather recent discovery as echidnas are fairly private about their intimate encounters and these discoveries led to great excitement in the scientific community.

“Fuck…” was all Richie could murmur.

“And you thought you were a ladies man” Jon quipped, nudging Richie.

Our tour guide, encouraged by our enthusiastic commentary, appeared determined to share all that he knew about the sex life of echidnas and we realized his knowledge was fairly extensive. He proceeded to entertain us with tales of how the males would form “trains”, with as many as ten males lined up nose to tail behind a single female echidna in heat. These “trains” might follow the female from two weeks for up to a month or more, competing for her affection.

“Sort of like groupies” I smirked, earning me pouts of disapproval from the guys.

“Yeah, but I bet the damn thing can’t play guitar” Richie grunted.

“Well no, but…” our guide laughed and continued.

He went on to describe how echidna foreplay often lasted as long as four hours prior to the actual act of intercourse and I sighed wistfully, prompting a sour expression from Jon. I giggled, but our guide wasn’t finished as he added that the actual act of intercourse itself would continue for up to another three hours after that. Now even the guys were a bit wistful, groaning in unison.

“I wanna be an echidna” Jon muttered aloud to which we all nodded our agreement.

“And I thought rock stars had it made” Jim remarked.

“Shit…” Richie added.

Our guide was exceptional as we drove through the sanctuary, stopping at various points of interest along the way. Our first stop was the platypus area and I was tickled at the opportunity to see several of these comical creatures in one spot. We learned that platypuses are difficult to breed in captivity, but Healesville was one of only a few places which had achieved much success.

We moved on along the Woodlands Track and we saw a fare number of wallabies and wombats and my camera got quite a workout as I snapped one picture after another. I longed to be able to touch the soft looking fur of these adorable marsupials, especially the wombats who had often been mistaken for badgers. With the help of our guide, we also managed to find an echidna burrowed inside a rotted out log, after following signs only a tracker would have recognized. There lay the epitome of sexual potency, soundly asleep and curled in a ball, hidden from the world.

“He hardly looks like a stud” Jon observed wryly.

“He might not be handsome, but he still gets plenty of action, mister rock star” I teased.

“Blondie’s just jealous ’cause he’s never been known for his stamina” Richie snickered, defending the critter to his critic.

“Yeah, but I don’t need half a year to recover” Jon replied, jabbing his finger at Richie.

The little creature stretched and yawned, snuggling back into a prickly ball of spines, his confidence still intact despite the sarcastic remarks being thrown at him. I snapped a few more shots of the sleeping echidna before our attention turned towards our guide who was pointing just a short way off to our left.

“Tassies!” he announced with excitement.

He returned the echidna to his hiding spot and motioned for us to follow him as he led us through the trees to an open clearing. There I had the opportunity to watch as a small group of devils fought over the carcass of some unfortunate animal.

“Tassies prey on echidna” he whispered, “but our little friend is safe for the moment.”

We stood quietly at the outskirts of the trees and watched the Tasmanian Devils as they made short work of their bounty. We could easily hear the sounds of their feeding frenzy as they devoured their meal, including the bones and the fur, and I was rather shocked to learn that they truly deserved their reputation for voracious appetites.

“On average, a devil eats nearly 15% of their total body weight daily and they have the capacity to eat 40% of their weight in thirty minutes if the opportunity presents itself. They also aren’t fussy and their diet varies widely depending upon what they might find. They gravitate towards wombats, but they’re primarily scavengers who will feast on whatever they find and they’ll prey on most anything when they’re hungry. They also have the strongest bite of any living mammal” our guide informed us.

As we watched the commotion they made, I had no doubt it was true. They postured and screamed at one another and we learned that a good deal of their antics was largely for show. Our guide cautioned us to keep our distance as they often released an unpleasant odor when they became agitated and he pointed out the red ears on one of the group as a sign of heightened arousal.

“Speaking of food, is it time yet for lunch?” Jim interjected and our guide grinned as he looked at his watch.

“Let’s head over to the restaurant and we can finish the tour after lunch” he suggested.

We took our seats in the limo, making room for the guide, and headed off to Di Bortoli Winery and Restaurant. I didn’t have much of an appetite after watching the Devils annhilate their prey, but it seemed I was in the minority. A good glass of wine would certainly help.

Author’s Note:
For those who may want more information (or may doubt the echidna’s legendary sexual prowess), here are two links to explore:

http://environment.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn12838

http://environment.newscientist.com/article/mg14219232.200

The first includes a video link of an echidna who wasn’t particularly shy! :)