Tuesday, July 28, 2009


My Dearest Love,

On the day that you left, I looked out the window at the garden, so barren and lifeless without you, and all I could do was cry. I didn’t think I could even stay in our house any longer once you were gone. I saw you everywhere, Trish, and it was both a comfort and a curse. Why, why did you leave before me? I’d ask over and over.

I knew it wasn’t your plan, baby, but I was angry. Angry that you were gone and I was still here. I knew what I promised and I’ve kept my word, but I still wish you hadn’t asked me to stay. Baby, I still miss you so much.

Little Richie and Jovi followed me for days and they wouldn’t let me out of their sight. They didn’t understand and they kept scratching at every closed door in the house until I would open it. They thought you were lost and I kept on hoping we’d find you too.

Richie kept his eye on me and trust me when I tell you, he took his oath very seriously. He was like a mother hen, but I guess I needed it. I was glad he was there-at least most of the time. It was his idea to add my parts to “the book” as you called it. He hoped that maybe I’d start writing again if I just started by writing to you, but it felt like the music died the day that you left. You’d known me better than I’d known myself, I discovered, so there was little I needed to add. And you were right, by the way-you were my mirror all those years. The problem was that I lost my reflection once you were gone. For months, I was nothing more than a ghost without you, Trish.

I stayed with Richie in California for a month because I just couldn’t accept that you were gone. I couldn’t bear to be here without you and I almost sold our house, but I’m glad that I didn’t. It’s good to be home now and surrounded with the things that remind me of you. I found myself again when I came home and I’ve even been hearing a song in my head lately.

I’ve decided to publish your book, baby. While I’ve always been pretty private, ours was a story that needed telling and you told it beautifully. I really believe it will give others hope in their bleakest moments, just the way you did for me. There’s a miracle waiting out there for everyone and I’m glad I was fortunate enough to have found mine. Have I told you how much I miss you?

I remember the day of your funeral. It’s hard for me to type out that word even now because I still wish you weren’t gone. I won’t even say that other four letter word and maybe I just never will. I couldn’t bring myself to scatter your ashes like you had asked and I hope you’ll forgive me because I just wasn’t ready to part with them then. Now it’s Springtime and the garden’s blooming like crazy. I wish I could walk with you through the garden just once more like we used to do, but Richie and Jim were both here today and I knew it was time. You’re part of the earth now, baby, and every flower reminds me of you.

You still haunt my dreams, Trish, but it’s the greatest solace I have and it gets me through. I hear your voice and I look in your eyes and I smell your perfume and I feel alive. I touch your hair and I feel your warm breath on my skin and I know you’re near. Can you feel my arms wrapped around you? Can you taste my lips when I kiss you? I know you can, baby. I feel you. I can deal with the days because I know you’ll come to me in the night. When the moon is full, I know you’re here with me. I know you’re waiting and that gives me strength. Until then, we have our dreams…

I love you forever,



Rike said...

I was reading the last chapter and the epilogue together. But I had to stop sometimes, I couldn't see the letters because of the tears in my eyes.
it was a wonderful story. Thank you

Bayaderra said...

I just read the last two chapters and the epilogue in one sitting...
What can I say Opester that wasn't said before... You have a gift my dear, and I thank you for sharing your gift of story telling with us! This has been some journey! And even though I feel sad that it ended (and how it ended), I'm very happy that I was along for the ride.
Thank you Opester.

P.S. looking forward to sharing another journey soon!

Queenie said...

I know I haven't posted as often as I should have, but I have read every chapter since the beginning Opester. I was sorry to see this one end and end as sadly as it did but I truly enjoyed every moment.

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful story with us.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe the journey is over.
GREAT story! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I just found the Epilogue-it was so beautiful. I am crying so hard I can hardly type. The type of love you have written about is so magical and beautiful. I am reading the story for the 3rd time around because I love it so much. I just read the Handfasting ceremony and then noticed that there was an Epilogue. I cannot say enough about how fantastic of a writer you are. I hope you will write something in the future. The Epilogue was so so beautiful.


Opester said...

Aaaawww, Bonnie-that is so sweet of you to say-I am so glad that you found it-I posted the last chapter and the Epilogue together but didn't specify that in Topix. I'm so grateful to you and all the folks who have been reading for over a year and all your wonderful comments-it really means a lot to me to know that the story touched folks the way that it did. I have nothing else in the works as I needed to see this one through, but you never know what the future may hold. Thanks again to everyone!

Ana said...

Thanks to you Opester!
This has been a great love story.
The end is sad, very sad, and she shouldn't have gone so early.
But this epilogue somehow makes me feel a bit less sad, although the sadness is evident.

If you ever have another story to share I'd be happy to read it.

Anonymous said...

OK.its now August 2nd 2012...That was an amazing story & I cried my eyes out at the end...Through-out this story there have been tears of laughter, tears of thankfulness & now tears of grief...What an absolute pleasure it was to read. I hope you see this comment at some stage...thankyou!!!!
Julie ... jbj64

Opester said...

Thank you, Julie-I do get the comments and I appreciate them very much! I am glad you enjoyed the story and that it held your interest to the end. It's always nice to get feedback that people are reading and enjoying the story! Have a wonderful summer!