The Sauna Part 290

We made it back to the lodge in plenty of time to shower and change, but both Jon and I were reluctant to head down for the barbecue. I didn’t know how I could face Richie and Jim seemed even worse. Even if they never breathed a word, which was pretty unlikely, I just didn’t think I could meet their eyes.

“Richie’s gonna totally torture us, ya know that, right?” Jon winced as he spoke.

“We can’t avoid him forever, ya know that, right?” I grimaced.

“Let’s go get it over with then. I’m freakin’ starving” Jon said, shaking his head.

We’d stalled long enough and when we arrived at the party, the music was blaring and everyone else was already there. I noticed that no one was staring or smirking and I prayed one final time to the Goddess to make Richie merciful. He spotted us instantly and made his way towards us while I grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter, downing it all in one swallow.

“Courage, babe. Here it comes” Jon whispered.

“So you made it, brave souls that you are” Richie cackled.

“Now look, asshole…” Jon began.

“Now, now- relax, Bro’. I’m the epitome of discretion” Richie smiled sweetly and Jon rolled his eyes.

“Yeah. And I just love humble pie” Jon bantered back.

“I hope you’re hungry” Richie said with a gleam in his eye.

“Aaaawww, fuck, man. Whaddya want?” Jon asked with exasperation.

“There ain’t nothing you got that I want bad enough to keep this one a secret” Richie teased.

“Does everyone already know?” I asked, almost dreading the answer.

“Know what?” Dave asked as he joined us.

“How Jon and Trish spent their last day together” Richie offered helpfully.

“Yeah? What did you guys do? Something exciting? We’re all still waiting to hear about Richie and Jim and their big adventure” Dave replied innocently.

“We just spent a lazy day on the beach, nothing exciting. Right Trish?” Jon said, turning to me for confirmation but keeping his eyes on Richie all the while.

“Right, love. Just a lazy day on the beach” I nodded as the rest of the guys came over to join us.

“What about those remarkable birds you told me you saw? You know, the great big ones?” Richie prodded while Jim hid his smile.

“What kind of bird was it? What did it look like? We’re famous for all of our species of birds here-even ones that became extinct elsewhere” Elena piped in enthusiastically.

“Wish these two had been extinct” Jon muttered under his breath and Richie snickered.

“Yeah, Trish, c’mon, tell us about the birds” Jim joined.

“Well, we were on the beach, close to the shore, when all of a sudden I heard a strange cry and I looked overhead…” I began, building the anticipation.

“There up above, I saw two of the ugliest birds I’d ever seen…” I said with a smile, keeping my gaze steady on Richie and Jim who were scowling.

I knew there was no way that Richie and Jim would refrain from sharing this juicy tidbit, so why let them have all the fun? We could play too, I thought, nudging Jon at my side.

“They were hideous, absolutely grotesque. We figured they must’ve been the descendants of Dodo birds or some shit…” Jon joined in with a wry smile.

“Perhaps they were merely stunned by the spectacle they were watching. Humans look so ridiculous when they’re caught in the act” Richie interrupted with a smirk.

David caught on first and doubled over with laughter, but Elena was right behind them as she suddenly realized what must have happened. Tico and Eva were mystified as they scanned each of our faces, but my blushing gave us away.

“Oh my God! It was Richie and Jim in the wing suits! And they saw you two…Oh my God!” Eva shrieked with laughter.

“Yeah, we discovered a new species-Peeping Birds!” Jon added finally. “Rich, you’re an ass!” Jon declared, but even he was smiling as Jim and Richie hooted and high-fived one another.

“Aaaww, shit, am I ever glad I didn’t go with ya. I’ve seen enough of Jon’s ass to last me a lifetime!” Tico said finally.

“Oh no, trust me, Teek, when I tell you this sight was worth seeing! I’m so glad I brought my camera” Richie exploded and I blanched white as a sheet.

“Give me those pictures, you motherfucker!” Jon yelled, tackling Richie to the ground.

Richie was beside himself now, holding his belly and cackling with sheer delight, as Jim joined in the fray. Jon had Richie by the throat, but it did nothing to quench the peals of laughter erupting from Richie as Jim tried desperately to pry Jon away.

“He’s only kidding, man. There aren’t any pictures so don’t kill him! I don’t wanna try a debut as lead guitarist!” Jim laughed.

Jon released Richie’s throat and I could see the tears in his eyes, he was laughing so hard. I breathed a sigh of relief as Jon stood up and brushed himself off and offered his hand to pull Richie up from the ground. Richie was beaming as Jon hoisted him to his feet.

“Alright, you got me. I hate you, Sambora” Jon smirked.

“Seriously, bro, I wish I had had a camera. That was priceless! I still can’t believe we were there” Richie grinned.

“What a story this is gonna make for the book” Jim threatened as he took off running with Jon chasing behind.

“Richie, honestly, how much did you see?” I wanted to know once I’d regained my composure.

“S’okay, darlin’, don’t worry. We weren’t really close enough to see any detail, but we knew it was you two. That flaming red hair of yours and that mop of blond alongside you…we knew immediately who we were watching! But don’t spoil my fun-I haven’t even had the chance to tease Jon about the size of his one-inch wonder worm! Even with binoculars I couldn’t have seen it” Richie chortled.

“Richard, you’re evil and I think you may just have a death wish!” I grinned as I pinched his arm.

“It’s too good not to milk it” he grinned back.

Jim and Jon had returned after Jim promised never to tell. We received even more ribbing as the evening wore on, but the initial embarrassment had faded away and even Jon and I took part in the good-natured teasing. It was wonderful to be among friends and I actually wondered if the guys ever felt sad when a tour finally ended.

“I’m really gonna miss all of this. I’ve never felt so much a part of anything in my life. This time on the road has been really special and I just wanted you all to know how much I appreciate being part of this family” I shared, my eyes a bit misty as we began saying goodnight.

“Aaawww, we’re glad to have you, carita. Having you here has actually turned Jon back into a human again” Tico teased.

“It’s only a temporary respite, darlin’. Jon’ll have us back on the road again before you even get settled at home” David assured me as he kissed me goodnight.

“And you two…I hate to admit it, but I’m even gonna miss your shenanigans” I added, as I hugged Jim and Richie.

“Hey, didn’t Jon tell you? I’m moving in when we get back to the States. The price of my silence doesn’t come cheap” Jim joked and Jon rolled his eyes.

“G’night, doll. We’ll all see you off in the morning” Richie said as he hugged me and we took our leave.

“I really meant what I said. I’m gonna miss all of this. Don’t you guys miss each other when it’s all over?” I asked as we walked back to our suite.

“In a way, I s’pose we do, but truthfully, babe, it hasn’t always been as much fun as this tour has been. It’s made a big difference having you here. Tico wasn’t that far off base when he made that comment” Jon replied.

“Really? It’s hard to imagine how anything could drive you guys apart” I answered truthfully.

“Let’s not talk about any of that now, Trish. I don’t wanna spend our last night together talking about those assholes” Jon grinned. “I’ve got better plans.”

Jon closed the door and locked us inside and not another moment was wasted, I can assure you.


***************