The Sauna Part 229

Half an hour went by as Richie recounted the details of his meeting with Elaine and we waited for the police to dismiss us. Richie had explained who Elaine was and how to contact her family and they were satisfied as there were plenty of witnesses who’d seen what had happened. The challenge would be getting back to the hotel now that the press had got wind of the story and were gathered out front with the crowd.

Tico had called for a cab and it was waiting outside, but the paparazzi were anxiously waiting as well. The police held them back as we made our way out the door and moved towards the cab, light bulbs from cameras exploding all around us. Jon took the lead, shielding Richie, as we trailed in his wake. He made a brief statement that there’d been an accident and that Richie’s estranged wife had been struck by a car and that the show would take place as planned. Richie was still somewhat numb, but he didn’t want to cancel the show.

Jon had been more than willing to postpone the show as we would still be in Scotland for a few days, but Richie had declined and needed the comfort of the normal routine. The mood was quite somber as we rode back in the cab and Richie held it together until we were away from the mob.

“If I hadn’t upset her she would not have run out of the restaurant without looking” Richie said regretfully.

“Jesus, Rich, it wasn’t your fault! It was an accident” Jon pleaded with him to understand.

Jon sighed heavily; it was just as he’d feared and Richie was blaming himself. He knew it had been no one’s fault, but he was angry and wanted someone to blame. The press was an easy enough target since Elaine was already dead and he couldn’t accuse her of staging the media circus this time.

“Fuckin’ vultures! They smelled blood and came running” Jon seethed.

“They were only asking the same questions I’m asking myself, bro” Richie said quietly.

The press had wanted to know why Elaine had been so upset. Were they fighting? Had there been a big argument? Had she wanted to reconcile? The questions rang in Richie’s ears. Would it have played out the same if I hadn’t been such a shit? I surprised her at the café and I goaded her. I knew she was upset and I still let her go. I could have been gentler, he thought to himself.

“Richie” I said, laying my hand on his arm. “Elaine tried to manipulate you and when you didn’t back down, she lost her cool. You’ve done nothing wrong. You held your ground and she didn’t expect that as she was used to getting her way. You didn’t cause this, Richie. She did” I said calmly.

“Trish, you should have seen her. She tried to apologize and I wouldn’t let her” he said, turning his eyes to meet mine.

“It was only another attempt to manipulate your emotions, Richie. You said so yourself. You saw how she changed. Do you think that’s how someone would have behaved if they were truly ashamed and remorseful? She wasn’t hurt; she was enraged when you didn’t give in. Remember what you just told us?” I prompted.

Richie was quiet as we pulled up to the hotel and Jon paid the driver. We were able to get inside without any fuss as the media was still back at the scene and trying to get more information from the police and the crowd. We all went with Richie to his room as we had no intention of leaving him alone at the moment.

Everyone wanted a drink and I didn’t argue this time. Getting drunk wasn’t a solution, but a drink wouldn’t hurt to relax. Jon ordered wine from room service and I noticed that he put the bottle of vodka out of sight. There were only a few hours before it would be time to get ready for the show and we would all take a turn staying with Richie until it was time to get to the venue.

“Hey bro, are you sure that you wanna do the gig tonight? No one would blame you if you took the night off and Bobby could cover” Jon offered again.

“No, I wanna do this. I need to do this, Jon” Richie said resolutely.

“Okay. Teek, can you run the sound check, man? I wanna stay here ‘till the show” Jon asked and Tico nodded.

“Jon, go do the sound check, okay? I’ll be fine. I’m not suicidal and you don’t have to baby-sit me” Richie said with a touch of annoyance.

“I’ll stay” I mouthed to Jon and he nodded.

“Richie, no one thinks you’re gonna hurt yourself. You’ve been through a terrible ordeal and we care about you, that’s all” I reassured him.

He grunted, but seemed satisfied as we all settled down to keep him company for the moment. Room service knocked on the door and Dave answered, taking the wine and pouring the drinks. It was going to be a long afternoon.


**************



The guys left for the sound check while I stayed with Richie.

“Trish, I’m okay, really” Richie tried to dismiss me.

“There’s no need for me to be there and I’d rather be here” I replied, leaving no room for argument.

“Thanks, babe” he said, smiling wanly.

We talked about Elaine and I told Richie as much as I knew about her. It made sense that we both felt the need to discuss her as we had both felt betrayed and needed to process our feelings. I was surprised that I felt as sad as I did, but I realized it was more a result of the disappointment I felt over how she had turned out to be than over her death.

Richie still struggled with how he had misjudged her in the beginning and he managed to actually let go the guilt he felt over how he’d behaved at the café. The longer we talked, the more he realized that Elaine wasn’t capable of feeling genuine emotions and that what he had seen in the beginning was just wishful thinking by all of us. I told him how I had fought with myself to accept what I saw for a long time as well.

“I guess I shouldn’t blame myself for being so blind after all. If she fooled you- and you’re no fool, Trish- I guess no one could have seen what was really going on” he observed finally.

At last I was able to let go the feeling of responsibility I’d carried since first introducing them. Even though neither Richie nor Jon had blamed me for their meeting, I still felt somehow at fault for not having been sharper and more perceptive, but I was beginning to accept that I saw what Elaine had wanted to show me. I really had never known her until towards the end.

When Jon returned from the sound check, Richie and I had come to some resolutions and he immediately sensed that things were far better than he’d anticipated. I wanted to go back to our room and shower and change for the show and Jon wanted some time alone with his buddy. I kissed Richie on the cheek and he hugged me and I left them alone to talk.

“Jon, I’m okay, really. I think Trish and I needed to talk about how we felt. We both had so many mixed feelings about Elaine and it really helped just to go over what we both had experienced, you know?” Richie shared.

“Yeah, I do understand that. She hurt both of you a lot more than me and I know that Trish blames herself for introducing you to her” Jon nodded, feeling a little less left out now that he understood the connection.

“I realized that too while we talked, but I think maybe she’ll let that go a bit better now” Richie said.

“I hope so, bro. I’m ashamed to admit that at first I felt angry with her myself, but I never told her because I knew it wasn’t fair and I knew she had no idea either” he admitted.

“Elaine was quite a piece of work, wasn’t she? At least we were all fooled by one of the best. I wonder if anyone ever really knew her at all?” Richie wondered.

“I have to think that we knew what was there to know, Rich. I don’t believe there was anything else underneath the façade that she showed to the world” Jon replied.

“It’s just hard to accept that that’s all there was, man, but maybe you’re right. I guess a small part of me still wants to believe there was something more” Richie sighed.

“Everyone’s got a story, bro, but that doesn’t change who they are at the core” Jon said wisely.

“I ’spose you’re right about that. How’d you manage to get so lucky and find Trish?” Richie elbowed him.

“Luck had nothing to do with it. I know that the Gods were behind it” he smiled.

“Do ya think maybe they might wanna take a shot at setting me up now that you’re squared away?” Richie grinned.

“I sure hope so, man. You gotta believe me when I tell you we’re praying for that” Jon answered.

“Maybe that’s what I should be doing then too” Richie reflected “because I sure need some help finding my own soul mate.”