The Sauna Part 260

“Trish, yeah, I’m back. We’ve got it covered for the moment. I just talked to mom and told her to have Matt shut the board before things get any further out of control” he breathed, sounding somewhat relieved.

“You did what? Jon, don’t you get it? They’re in this together and this is just what they planned! Call her back right now and stop this! If you shut down the board, we won’t even be able to post an apology and let the fans know that we plan to respond and make sure they receive all their money! Jon, listen to me!” I pleaded.

Jon hesitated now and he wasn’t sure what to do. His mom had made sense and she sounded calm and in total control. On the other hand, what I said had merit about making sure the fans knew we were doing something about this, but the desperation in my voice made him think twice. He thought I was being paranoid by suspecting that his mother and brother would conspire like this and perhaps I just wasn’t being rationale. He just couldn’t imagine that his family who loved him would do something to make him look bad. Trish has had a lot on her mind these past few days and she needs a break, he finally concluded.

“Baby, calm down. I’m not angry with you; things get screwed up and you’re not thinking clearly. No one would have sabotaged the Fan Club on purpose and we can fix this after we stop any further damage” he said quietly, using his mother’s words.

“Oh, Jon, you really don’t see it, do you? I need you to trust me now more than ever. Do you honestly think that I’d do something to jeopardize your career for the sake of my pride? Don’t you think that I’d ask for help if I needed it?” I said calmly now, feeling defeated.

Jon was quiet as he thought about what I had just said. He felt like he couldn’t win and he wished he was anyone but who he was right at the moment. It was all in his lap and he just wanted to do the right thing, but what the hell was the right thing? He’d let me down, he’d let down his fans and if he changed his mind now, he’d be offending his family who were only trying to help.

“Trish, baby, please don’t be mad…” he began.

“I’m not angry, Jon, just disappointed” I lied.

“What do you want me to do? I’ve got a show in two hours and …” he began, running his hands through his hair.

“Nothing, Jon. All I ever asked was that you do nothing and trust me enough to handle this job, but you chose your mother instead. The whole board just went down and it’s too late to change it. I resign” I said sadly, but I wasn’t going to fight for control or beg him for his support.

“Trish, please…” he tried again.

“Go and get ready, you’ve got a show to do and I have other work that needs my attention” I replied numbly and hung up.

I sat there and stared at the screen on the computer. When push came to shove, his mother had won and I had lost. It was over. He still loved me, that much hadn’t changed, but he didn’t respect my ability enough to trust me when the shit hit the fan and I didn’t know how well I could manage to live with that knowledge. I shut down the computer and went downstairs in a fog. I’d never felt so completely bereft in my life.


*************


Jon looked at his laptop and threw it across the room and watched as it hit the wall and crashed to the floor. He put his head in his hands and tried to think. He remembered snippets of our previous conversations about both the Fan Club, my role and his family. He started to pace as images from the past few weeks flitted through his mind and he recalled my birthday and how neither Matt or his mom had called like he’d asked. Did I make a mistake? Could Trish be right? He thought miserably as he kicked everything in his path.

Richie heard the commotion from his room across the hall and wondered What the hell? I’d better go and see what’s up his ass now. He knocked on the door, but there was no answer, so he knocked again, a little more loudly this time.

“What?” Jon screamed at the door.

Richie tried the handle, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Jon, open the fuckin’ door!” he yelled back.

“What the fuck do you want?” Jon snapped as he opened the door.

“I wanna know what the hell’s going on and why you’re trashing your room!” Richie demanded, standing his ground, as he looked at the mess all around them.

“Forget it man, what time is it? We got a show to do and I gotta get ready” Jon blasted back as he headed towards the shower.

“Look, fuck the shower and tell me what happened!” Richie insisted, grabbing Jon by the arm and halting his stride.

“Get your hands off me” Jon said menacingly and Richie let go.

“Look, bro, there’s still time before we have to leave for the venue. Please, Jon, will ya talk to me?” Richie replied, trying another tactic.

“Aaawww, fuck, Richie. I blew it. At least I think that I blew it. I don’t even know. Trish hung up on me and she’s really hurt. The Fan Club is down and people are furious because they think that we ripped ‘em off and we did. It’s a fuckin’ mess and I can’t fix it” he said finally, slumping into a chair.

Richie had heard bits and pieces from both me and Jon about the changes we planned for the Fan Club, but he hadn’t kept up on the progress. He knew Jon’s mother and Matt weren’t very cooperative, but he hadn’t heard all the details and now he needed to know.

“Back up, man. Explain. What happened exactly?” he prodded.

Jon filled in the blanks and as he recounted the story he had the sinking feeling that he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. If he had any remaining doubts about what he had done, they vanished as he watched Richie’s expression shift from one of rapt attention to sheer disbelief.

“Jesus Christ, Jon. You trusted your mother and Matt? How could you do that to Trish? You were the one that kept her so busy she didn’t have time to do her job, but Matt? He was the one who was supposed to be minding the store, ya know” he said finally after hearing the whole story.

“I fucked up, man. I really fucked up again. I just wanted to fix it and I just made it worse and I don’t think there’s anything I can do to make it right again” he said, pacing again.

“Jon, the Fan Club will survive. You’ll refund all the charges and re-establish the site and post an apology. The fans will forgive you, but Trish…” Richie murmured, not sure what to say.

“Trish…” Jon said as he gave Richie a wounded look.


***************


“So, did you get everything straightened out?” Jim asked as I wandered into the kitchen with a blank expression and sank into a chair at the table.

“Apparently not” he observed, lifting my chin to make me look up at him. “What happened, honey?” he prompted.

“I just don’t know anymore” I said as I started to cry.

Jim sat down at the table and pulled my chair next to his. I put my head on his shoulder and sobbed. I sobbed and I wailed and I cried and I sniffled and when I had exhausted all the fury and pain, at least for the moment, he handed me a Kleenex. I blew my nose loudly and he handed me a handful of tissues this time and I looked at him out of the corner of my eye.

“Still wanna go to Australia with me?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’ll pack lots of Kleenex” he smiled softly. “Wanna tell me about it?” he tried again.

“Only if you promise it won’t end up in the book. It’s not a good story” I said wretchedly.

He nodded and I tried to recount what had happened, going back to the very beginning and the night of Carol’s retirement party. Jim listened and nodded his head, but he just let me talk without interrupting. I confessed that I’d been remiss in following up on the Fan Club and admitted I was at fault too, but I was devastated by Jon’s lack of trust and respect for my judgment.

“Trish, he’s used to being in charge and calling the shots and he made a mistake. It’s his family you’re expecting him to abandon after they’ve been with the him for what, like almost a twenty-five year career?” he pointed out, cocking an eyebrow. “That’s a pretty tall order, dontcha think?” he continued.

“I see you’ve been doing your homework” I observed a bit ruefully.

“Well, yeah, I’ve been reading up on the internet. I didn’t think Jon or the guys should have to fill me in on what any average fan already knows. But back to the subject. How can you be so certain this time that it really wasn’t just a glitch in the billing? I mean, yeah, his brother should have been paying attention too and caught it, but it sounds like he was just waiting for something to go wrong” he said, sounding like the voice of reason.

“Jim, everyone of those charges had to be processed by hand, individually. The billing isn’t automated purposely to insure that just such a thing couldn’t happen. Plus, that account should have been almost breaking even if they ran the initial charge and then refunded the money immediately. There should never have been any profit from this. Someone had to have misled them about what to do and there’s only three people who could have done that-and it certainly wasn’t me or Jon” I explained.

“I see. I guess you did your homework too” he agreed, shaking his head. “So, you were had?” he nodded, finally understanding.

“Yep. And Jon didn’t give me the chance to explain. He just didn’t have confidence in me and I don’t know if I can forget that, even if I could forgive it” I finished.

“So what will you do?” he asked.

“I really don’t know” I said honestly.