The Sauna Part 261

Jim went to make dinner and poured me a glass of wine while I sat in the living room with my cats. He’d made a fire in the fireplace for me and I sat there and stared into the flames, trying not to feel anything. I could see Matt’s pasty white face in front of me, his features shifting and twisting inside the flames as he smirked at me.

How could I have been so careless and reckless? I’d forgotten the cardinal rule of management that I’d painfully learned time and again. Keep your eye on the ball or at least make it look like you’re always watching. I heard Angie’s voice repeating over and over. Hell! I’d been screwed over by employees I’d trusted who didn’t even intend any harm just because I had trusted them too much and relaxed my grip just a bit.

But Matt? I knew he wanted to bury me and I closed my eyes because I wanted to trust Jon’s brother. He may have designed the coffin, but I gave him the nails to seal the lid shut! I had no one to blame but myself. I wondered what words of wisdom Angie would have had for me now and I wished she was here to make me feel like less of an ass.

And then there was Jon. I was plenty mad at myself, but I was even more furious with him. He had me on the other line and still he listened to his mother without even consulting me! What could I have done differently? Nothing. He didn’t give me the chance. Eddie hopped up on my lap and nuzzled his little head in my hand and purred. At least I still have my babies.

“Call him” Jim said as he tossed me the phone.

“No. I don’t want to hear the sound of his voice and I’m afraid of what I might say” I refused.

“Trish, you’re torturing yourself and you’re miserable and I’m sure he is too. Please, will you just call him?” he encouraged again.

“No. And I’m not miserable” I said stubbornly. “Okay, so I am miserable, but I’m still not going to call him. Do you need any help with dinner?” I asked, changing the subject.

“No, it’ll be ready shortly” he shrugged, knowing better than to argue with me when I was hurt.


************


The show in Portugal was one of the worst in Bon Jovi history. Jon was pissy and petulant and his performance lacked any of the charisma he was known for. He stomped onto the stage and ran through the songs without any enthusiasm and he even cut out a few versus here and there in order to get the show over with. He had walked off at ten-thirty after two and half hours without even an encore and the rest of the guys, minus Richie, were completely mystified at his behavior.

“What is his fuckin’ problem tonight? Damn, can’t we get Trish over here sooner?” David exploded after the guys did their own encore without him.

“Dave, man, chill out. That is the problem” Richie said in a hushed voice so Jon wouldn’t overhear.

Jon was out in the hallway, brooding, after he’d punched the walls and gotten into a fight with his own security man. He knew he was acting unprofessional and that only made him more miserable. If Matt had been there, Jon would have beaten him senseless.

What the fuck was I thinking? He pounded the wall with his hand for the fifth time. I actually asked her why she hadn’t checked out the new section sooner. I actually acted like this was her fault. My fuckin’ brother wasn’t minding the store and I let my mother convince me that Trish was to blame. Jesus, Goddess, what have I done?

“Richie, man, you gotta stop him! He’s gonna tear up his hand!” Rick shouted excitedly, watching Jon from the side of the stage.

“What the hell happened, Rich? He was so thrilled earlier when he was expecting her to come to Australia with that friend who’s gonna write the book. How did things change overnight?” Tico whispered as they both began walking towards Jon.

“It’s complicated, Teek. Jon really fucked up and this time he knows it” Richie said in a hushed voice.

Nothing, Jon. All I ever asked was that you do nothing and trust me enough to handle this job, but you chose your mother instead. It’s too late to change it. I resign. My words kept echoing in his mind. It’s too late to change it. It can’t be too late to change it. Baby, no, it can’t be too late.

“Jon, stop it. This isn’t helping” Richie said as he and Tico both grabbed his hand before he could punch the wall for the sixth time. “You made a mistake, man. Trish loves you, she’ll forgive you” Richie said with more confidence than he felt.

“It’s too late to change it, Rich. That’s what she said. I blew it and now it’s too late” Jon replied hopelessly, still perseverating on that phrase, but taking it totally out of context.

He looked at Richie and then at Tico and they saw the glimmer of tears in his eyes. Tico exchanged looks with Richie and the irritation he felt with Jon instantly evaporated and he knew this was serious. This wasn’t one of Jon’s little hissy fits; something bad really went down.

“Call her bro, tell her you’re sorry” Richie prodded him, thrusting his own cell phone into Jon’s hand.

“I tried, man, I tried. She hung up on me before I could even get the words out” Jon said, sounding completely beside himself now.

“You told her you’d made a mistake and she hung up on you?” Tico said skeptically. “That doesn’t sound like Trish” he said, eyeing Richie.

“Jon, what did you say?” Richie asked, listening carefully.

“I don’t remember. She said she wasn’t angry, just disappointed and I wanted her to understand why I did what I did” he recounted, thinking back.

Richie and Tico rolled their eyes and they both knew Jon had never gotten as far as ‘I’m sorry’. In fact, he probably hadn’t been sorry until after I’d hung up the phone, Tico was willing to bet. He pulled out his own cell phone and asked Richie for the number and dialed.

“She knows your number, bro, and she might not answer if she thinks you’re calling for him. She doesn’t know mine” Tico winked.


************


Jim and I had sat down for dinner and I’d only picked at my food. I just wasn’t hungry and I felt bad that I couldn’t eat, but I finally pushed my plate away in disgust. I just couldn’t choke down another bite.

“I’m really sorry. This was great, but I just can’t get anything down” I said apologetically and Jim nodded and removed the plate of food I had barely touched.

“Ice cream? Remember my special ice cream sodas? I’ve got cherry pop and chocolate ice cream” he tempted me.

“Well, it always did settle my stomach” I smiled, remembering how awful they sounded and how good they tasted.

Jim made me a soda and we went out to the living room and settled into the couch. We were soon surrounded by inquisitive cats, all of them able to sense ice cream from any room in the house. I was just finishing mine and letting Eddie and Zeke have the last little licks when my cell phone rang.

“Aren’t you going to see who it is?” Jim nudged me.

“Nope. It’s probably someone I don’t want to talk to” I said snidely.

Jim tickled me until he managed to get it away from me and answered the phone. I swatted him and made a face.

“Hello? This is Jim” he answered, hoping Jon had come to his senses since he was getting nowhere with me.

“Jim? Richie, man you gave me the wrong number. Sorry to disturb you” Tico said and hung up.

Jim stared at the phone, not recognizing the cuban accent, but he thought it was odd that the man had said Richie.

“Who was it?” I asked.

“Just a wrong number” he said, handing me the phone.

I didn’t recognize the number myself but it came up again when the phone rang for the second time.

“Hello?” I answered myself this time.

“Trish?” I recognized Tico’s voice.

“Tico?” I asked, a little surprised, and I saw the look of understanding on Jim’s face as he put it together.

“Trish, please don’t hang up. Jon’s a mess and he wants to tell you how sorry he is. Listen, querida, he really knows he’s an asshole, we know he’s an asshole and you know he’s an asshole, but he’s our asshole, okay? Please, will you listen to him?” Tico pleaded.