The Sauna Part 206

It was our last full day together and Jon would be leaving tomorrow afternoon. I intended to fly out the next morning with the cats as that was the soonest I could get a commercial flight and the band would be using the plane. Most of the details were settled and we only needed to pack the rest of our things. It was a gorgeous day; one of those rare, warm winter days that holds the promise of Spring and we decided to go for a short ride on the bike.

We dressed warmly, as it was still only fifty-eight degrees and that was cold on a bike. We decided to go to the local place that we liked for breakfast and ignore the bad memories of Richie’s meltdown that occurred there not long ago. I was more than ready for coffee as I rubbed my hands together to work off the chill from the ride.

“It’s a nice day for a ride, but it’s still a bit nippy out there” the waitress greeted us, noting the rosy flush on our cheeks as we walked inside. “Can I start you off with some coffee to warm up?” she asked.

I nodded vigorously as Jon took my hands and held them, rubbing them between his palms to warm them. The coffee hit the spot and we looked at the menu and made our selections. I was in the mood for bacon and eggs and Jon ordered pancakes and I smiled as he knew I intended to steal a bite or two.

When our meals arrived, I noticed we had only grape jelly for the toast. I took my coffee to the counter for a refill and to see if they had other kinds of jelly. I noticed the National Enquirer laying on the counter and glanced at the cover to see what today’s trash was about when I nearly choked on my last sip of coffee. There it was- Elaine’s picture on the headline entitled: The Other Side of Bon Jovi in big, bold print. I snatched the magazine and returned to our table without saying a word and showed Jon the cover.

“That fucking little bitch!” he hissed.

I scooted closer to him as he opened the rag and we began to read Elaine’s story. And what a story it was! She should have been a fiction writer I thought to myself as we read further and she described how Jon had always flirted with her when I wasn’t around.

“The only time I was ever alone with that witch was the night she came on to me!” he said vehemently.

“I know, baby, I know. I can’t think of a time when you would have had an opportunity to behave the way she’s suggesting” I reassured him.

The story became even more twisted as we continued to read, our food getting colder by the moment. The waitress came round and refilled our coffee and asked if the food was okay as neither of us were eating, but by then we had simply lost our appetites. Elaine went on to describe in lurid detail how Jon confessed his attraction to her and how badly he’d wanted her from the moment they met. She shared how revolted she was by Jon’s supposed attempt to seduce her and how she believed he was merely looking to add another trophy to his collection.

The story continued to tell how she rejected him instantly out of love for her husband and loyalty to her friendship with me and how deeply saddened she was that I had believed Jon over her. She spoke tearfully, according to the writer, about how Richie had been the greatest love of her life and how devastated she was when he believed Jon and never even gave her a chance to explain. She even said she had never planned to tell Richie about Jon’s “invitation” as she knew how hurt he would be to think that his “brother” had betrayed him and she added that Jon was so drunk at the time that she hoped he wouldn’t remember himself.

I was portrayed as a lovesick, aging spinster who was too flattered by Jon’s “infatuation” to see the truth and Richie was painted as a hapless victim, manipulated by Jon’s megalomania. The article ended with Elaine’s plea to Richie to set aside his trust in Jon and see the truth and come back to her. I was sick to my stomach and speechless and Jon was enraged.

“I’m putting an end to this circus right now and I’m calling a press conference!” Jon announced as he began to dial Richie on his cell phone.

“Jon, wait. Let’s not overreact. If you respond to this publicly, it will only draw more attention to it and it’ll look like we’re defensive. Please, let’s think it through. I want to respond to, but not on an impulse!” I begged.

He disconnected the call and closed the phone as he hung his head and banged on the table. The plates rattled loudly and several people nearby turned to look at us. I took his hand and lifted his chin so his eyes were level with mine.

“I can’t believe this thing has gotten so far out of hand” he lamented.

“Baby, first of all, it’s the National Enquirer. Who takes them seriously to begin with? Second, she called me a spinster. That’s a point we can use to demonstrate the inaccuracies; Elaine didn’t know I was married previously. Third, Richie can vouch for the fact that you and Elaine were never alone until that night, so there could never have been a history of you coming on to her as she said. I think we need to treat this as something we don’t take very seriously because her claims are improbable. Our response needs to cast doubt on her story by relegating it to the realm of the ridiculous through our disdain” I finished.

Jon listened carefully to everything I said and he considered the wisdom of downplaying the article versus a full-on frontal assault. His instinct was to attack back and set the record straight, but his head told him to keep his emotions in check. Allowing his anger and pride to get in the way would only escalate the publicity and suggest that where there was smoke, there was fire. The shadow of doubt needed to fall on Elaine’s character.

“You’ve got a good point. I’ve never used the media to plead my case in the past and I won’t let that bitch goad me into it now” he agreed as he began to calm down. “What do you suggest that we do?” he asked.

“I think we should wait until one of the press confronts one of us with the article and then act as dismissive as we can. I do think we need to get all the guys together, though, and go over the plan. And you need to call Richie before someone gets to him first” I suggested.

Jon pursed his lips in concentration and then dialed Richie’s number. I waited silently as he told Richie the story and read him excerpts from the article. I could hear the obscenities as Richie cursed into the phone and I held my breath while Jon waited for the stream of invective to cease and handed the phone to me.

“Richie?” I asked tentatively.

“Jesus, Trish! This is all beginning to feel like a bad dream and I wanna wake up!” he groaned.

“I know, Richie, I know, but we’ve got a plan. Can you meet us back at the house this afternoon? We’ll call all the guys and get them there too or on speaker phone. Can you get a flight this morning instead of tonight? And whatever you do, don’t speak to the press until we all discuss our strategy” I asked, cutting straight to the chase.

“Yeah, I can get there this afternoon. I’d already changed my flight as Heather was leaving for Hawaii with Eva this morning and I didn’t wanna hang around here by myself” Richie said, his voice a bit softer now.

“Good! Get on the plane and come straight to the house. We’ll have a limo waiting and we’ll call all the guys. When does your flight get in?” I needed to know.

“Three o’clock. Shit. I need to get my gear and leave for the airport now” he said, checking the time.

“Okay, Rich, we’ll have a limo waiting” I replied and handed the phone to Jon.

He called all the guys and made arrangements for the limo. David and Hugh were both in town and Tico would join us on speaker phone. He was spending his last night with Eva and planning to meet the guys in London tomorrow. I spoke hurriedly with Eva and she said she’d run to the store and get the Enquirer this morning so that they’d have had a chance to read it before this afternoon. I thanked her and she sent us her love and had a few choice phrases for Elaine that would have made a marine blush. Jon rolled up the magazine and threw some bills on the table and we left, our breakfast untouched. We both knew we’d never come back to this restaurant now.