The Sauna Part 181

The doorbell rang around ten o’clock and we were hoping it was Tico and Eva, but it was a delivery truck from a local florist. I was surprised as we hadn’t ordered any flowers and I wondered if Jon had sent them, but he shook his head ‘no’. I signed for the delivery and we read the card together as the man deposited several gorgeous arrangements and a bouquet of red and white roses inside the front door. The card read:

“Congratulations! Just a little something to help you both celebrate…Dot”

I was overwhelmed and Jon smiled too. Neither of us had expected anything from anyone, but least of all from Dot. I was really struck by her thoughtfulness and I would make sure to thank her when she and her new “John” arrived. We arranged the flowers around the house and things began to look festive despite our somber mood.

The next time that the doorbell rang, it was Tico and Eva, followed by the dry cleaner who delivered Jon’s tux which he’d sent out to be pressed. The caterers weren’t due yet until just before the mayor, so we had plenty of time to discuss what had happened earlier. I just prayed that Richie and Elaine would sleep in and not come down to join us too early.

“Nothing like waiting until the last minute, eh buddy?” Tico joked as he took the tux from the delivery boy and handed it to Jon.

“Yeah, I realized it was pretty wrinkled when I pulled it out yesterday. And don’t you just look dapper?” Jon teased him back.

Tico cut quite a dashing figure in his tux and Eva looked as stunning as ever and I was glad to see them both. I hugged Eva tightly and I saw her exchange a glance with Tico and I knew they were wondering why we’d asked them to come early.

“Well Mo, I’m here, so where’s Curly?” Tico asked, referring to Richie.

“He and Elaine aren’t up yet and that’s what we wanted to talk to you about” Jon explained as he led the way to the kitchen.

I fixed coffee for all of us and Eva gave me a hand with setting out some snacks. It was just after eleven and we wouldn’t be eating until much later, so I had made an antipasto as neither Jon nor I could stomach the sight of sandwiches. Eva joined Tico at the table and they waited patiently for us to begin.

“Something happened last night after Richie and I got home from partying” Jon began as he proceeded to explain the chain of events.

Tico was quiet and listened intently as Jon recounted the details, but his eyes flashed when he began to describe how Elaine was dressed. Eva was startled and she looked at me and just shook her head until Jon repeated the conversation with Elaine, explaining why he hadn’t cut her off sooner.

“And you say she’s still upstairs in that bed sleeping?” Eva asked, shaking her head in disbelief as I nodded.

“I’d have thrown her out on her ass in her lingerie” Eva announced, furious now too.

“What does Richie know?” Tico asked Jon.

“Nothing as far as I know, but who knows what Elaine said if she said anything at all” Jon sighed as he spread his hands.

Tico immediately understood Jon’s concerns and he knew it was a delicate situation. Eva, on the other hand, was seething with indignation and would’ve been very happy to go upstairs and drag Elaine out of bed by her hair and, in fact, she offered to do just that. I laughed in spite of myself as the image was rather amusing and rather appealing too and I was tempted to accept her offer.

“Jon, you’ve got to tell Richie. He might not believe you, but you owe him that and he needs to hear it” Tico advised.

“Teek, man, I don’t wanna lose Richie as a friend. What if he doesn’t believe me or thinks I was just so drunk that I misread her?” Jon lamented.

“Tell him word for word what happened, just like you told us, but tell him privately when you’re alone and don’t wait much longer. How could that be open to interpretation?” Tico countered.

Jon nodded and resigned himself to doing what he felt was right regardless of the consequences. There was just no winning in this situation and no matter what he decided, it wasn’t going to end well. Jon hated Elaine more than ever now for putting him in this situation and I hated her too, both for betraying our friendship but even more for causing a rift between two people I loved dearly.


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It was just passed noon and we began to hear signs of life upstairs. Richie traipsed down to the kitchen, cursing himself for having stayed out so late and for having drunk so much. His head was splitting and he had just turned down an opportunity to make love with his wife. What the hell is wrong with me? I must be getting old, not older he grimaced. He was lost in his own misery as he walked into the kitchen and was greeted by the four of us seated at the kitchen table.

“Well, good morning, sleeping beauty!” Tico laughed, hoping to lighten the mood.

“And don’t you just look spiffy in your monkey suit” Richie sneered back at Tico. “Shit, how long have you been up?” he blinked, looking at Jon.

“Hey man, we’re moving onto the third pot of coffee. Welcome to the world of the living!” Jon replied lightly.

“I’m sorry, geez; I was really out of it. Got any aspirin to go with that caffeine?” he asked as he poured himself a cup and sat down heavily.

“Here ya go, Richie. Is Elaine still sleeping?” I had to ask.

“No, she’s taking a shower, she’ll be down in a bit” he replied, still squinting. “What time is it?”

“Just passed noon, we’ve got plenty of time, Rich” Jon assured him.

Jon badly wanted to get the conversation with Richie over with as the casual banter felt hollow to him, but after taking one look at him he knew now was not the time. Richie looked like the living dead and Jon didn’t have the heart to dump anything else in his lap. He realized with some relief that Elaine must not have said anything and was waiting to see what he would do, so he had time.

Richie smiled as he sipped his coffee, beginning to feel almost human again. He didn’t recall much of anything after coming home last night until this morning when Lainie woke him up with her kisses. He knew he’d been grouchy and decided to join her in the shower and make it up to her.

“Guess I’ll go and get cleaned up and see if Lainie needs any help with that shower” Richie winked as he headed back up the stairs.

“Jon, tell him today after he gets cleaned up. We can’t keep pretending that everything’s cool-he’s gonna know something’s up once that bitch shows her face again and no one will look at her” Tico warned.

“I guarantee she’s going to be glued to his side once they come back down. Jon, can you get Richie to run an errand with you? Something to give you some time alone?” I suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll ask him to help me pick up some shit at the liquor store” he replied, thinking of a ruse.

We had a plan and we had only to wait on the opportunity now. I could see Jon looked restless and irritable and we needed to get this over with, come what may. Tico put his hand on Jon’s shoulder to comfort him while Eva looked at me sympathetically.

“Whatever happens, amigo, I’m behind ya, okay?” Tico added and Jon looked at him wanly.

“Eva, I need you to help keep me busy and to keep Elaine away from me-can you try not to toss her out to the curb just yet?” I smirked.

“I’ll try-just don’t ask me to take out the trash, okay?” she grinned back.


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Richie and Elaine made love in the shower and Lainie used all of her feminine wiles to lull him into a false sense of security. He’d managed to be out of her sight when he went to get coffee and aspirin, but she wasn’t going to make that mistake again. She would smother him with the affection she knew he craved and she hoped that would keep Jon at bay and convince Richie that she had eyes only for him. She’d keep her distance from Jon and me.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry I was grumpy this morning” Richie apologized as he held her close and nuzzled her neck.

“Well, you certainly made up for it just now” she mewed, thinking she should be generous with her compliments today.

Richie was an incredible lover and telling him so wasn’t a stretch, but for Elaine it was all an act. She liked Richie well enough and she’d hoped she’d fall in love with him, but it just wasn’t happening and she found herself still obsessed with Jon. She couldn’t get him out of her head and his rejection had only seemed to fan the flame. How could he have turned her down anyway? She was younger and prettier, she knew. Maybe Trish really was a witch after all; that would explain it. Why else would Jon want that bitch when he had a better offer readily available?

Elaine shook her head and laughed with that lilting voice that Richie found so appealing. Jesus, I’m lucky, he thought to himself. I felt like an old man a few hours ago and now I feel like a teenager. She’s so freaking hot I can’t keep my hands off her, he chuckled as he kissed those luscious lips. He and Jon were both blessed by the fates.


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Elaine and Richie made their entrance and the conflicting emotions I felt made me literally sick to my stomach. Richie was glowing and my heart ached for him as the last thing he needed was the reality check he was about to receive. Elaine, on the hand, made me furious. Her arrogance was insufferable as she pranced by his side in the most sluttish outfit I could imagine. I wondered if it was even meant to be worn in public as her breasts were clearly visible through the sheer fabric as well as the thong she was wearing.

I thought Eva was going to lose it as I felt her bristle beside me and Jon shot me a glance that spoke volumes about what he was thinking. Tico was a far better actor than all of us as he greeted them blandly with an unreadable expression. I kept my eyes on my lap and pretended to focus on the cat who was purring contentedly there.

“Good afternoon” Teek said without flinching and Richie grinned sheepishly.

“Rich, man, you look great” Jon said acknowledging his tux and ignoring Elaine. “Wanna come with me to the liquor store? I could use your help as I’ve gotta run out there and pick up some shit, their truck broke down and they can’t deliver it” Jon lied.

“Sure, bro, let’s do it” he offered without hesitation.

I smiled genuinely for the first time that day as I saw the panic flash briefly on Elaine’s face and I knew she was seething. She hadn’t anticipated being separated from Richie and left to the rest of us and she resembled a deer caught in the headlights.

“We gotta hurry, man, so I can get back and change before everyone else shows up” Jon interjected as he grabbed Richie’s arm and steered him towards the door.

“Hurry back, baby” Elaine stammered as she threw her arms around his neck and nearly sucked his tongue from his mouth.

“Don’t you worry, lady” Richie purred as Jon dragged him out the door.

Elaine looked deflated and I was glad she felt trapped as I saw Eva advancing towards her. I had a fleeting thought that I should intervene, but decided to leave her to Eva and I caught Tico’s wink as she grabbed Lainie’s arm.

“Elaine, let’s go upstairs and find you something fitting to wear for a wedding” she smiled and I had to look away or I’d have laughed out loud.

“And you” she said turning to Tico, “give Trish a hand with anything she needs until I get back.”

“Yes, ma’am” Tico smiled impishly and we both wished we could have been flies on the wall watching Eva with Elaine.