The Sauna Part 150

We woke the next morning at the crack of dawn thanks to the yowling chorus of hungry cats, demanding their breakfast. Jon and I just looked at each other and giggled. I dragged myself to the edge of the bed and sat up with a yawn. There was a lot we had to do today and I needed coffee to get started.

“I’ll feed them and start the coffee” I announced.

Jon rolled over and stretched and looked at me gratefully through sleepy eyes. I pulled on my robe and padded out to the kitchen followed by the furry crew who nearly tripped me in their rush to get to the food bowl first. I refilled the food and changed their water before concentrating on the coffee, wishing I felt more enthusiastic about today’s agenda.

I poured a mug for each of us once it finished brewing and returned to the bedroom where Jon lay buried beneath the blankets. He sat up and grinned as I handed him the mug.

“Morning, babe” he grunted, taking the first sip.

“That it is” I acknowledged heavily as I leaned over to kiss him.

“What’s wrong, darlin’? You look so sad” he observed.

“I’m just not looking forward to trying to find homes for the cats. I was just thinking that we won’t have many more nights like last night where we have all five in bed with us” I said, holding back the tears.

“Awww, c’mere” Jon said, setting his cup down.

I set my coffee down too as he drew me against him, holding me close. The reality of what we had decided yesterday was beginning to hit me and I couldn’t shake off the sadness. Floyd and Beowulf had been with me for over fifteen years and neither had ever known another life. Opie would adapt just fine, I thought, but I felt terribly guilty about the two oldest ones.

“It’ll be okay, baby, you’ll see. Traveling would be harder on them in the long run and we’ll visit, I promise” he reassured me.

“I know, I know” I cried.

I did know it was the right thing to do, but it didn’t mean that I had to be happy about it. They had been there for me through all the difficult times, even my divorce, and now I was abandoning them to go off gallivanting around the country to be with Jon. I couldn’t help feeling like a lousy parent whose own needs came before those of their children and I tried to make Jon understand.

“I feel so selfish. I’m abandoning them in order to avoid being separated from you. I’m a horrible mother. See, I told you I was an awful parent” I sobbed then, having finally admitted it.

Jon didn’t know what to say. He really hadn’t expected this and had thought that we’d come up with a good solution. He knew they were like my children, but at the same time he saw it was different because they were pets. He couldn’t very well cancel the tour and the thought of going alone wasn’t a possibility he wanted to entertain.

“Trish, you aren’t being selfish. Dragging them around with us would be selfish; finding stable homes for them is a sacrifice. Would you rather stay here with them while I’m away?” he asked, laying out the choices in black and white.

“No, but I feel like I should” was all I could say.

“Baby, I want you to be with me, but not if it’s going to make you miserable” he said, feeling hopeless.

He knew how it had been between him and Dot and they had been faced with the same dilemma. They had both agreed that she would stay at home with the kids and there had never really been any other options to consider as leaving them with a nanny to raise wasn’t something either of them would have found acceptable. Jon was beginning to feel the rub now too and the old resentment he sometimes felt about the sacrifices he had to make for his career began to surface.

“I’d be more miserable if I can’t be with you, but I have a responsibility to them. You’d be okay without me, but I don’t know if they can adapt to new homes” I explained.

“I wouldn’t be okay without you, but I can do it if I have no other choice. I can fly home on breaks between the shows and you could join me part of the time. Maybe it isn’t reasonable to expect you to traipse around the country with me; Eva won’t do it for Tico either” he sighed resignedly.

“Oh Jon, this sucks. I hate this” I cried.

“I know, so do I, babe. But we’ll make it, we’ll manage it” he said, trying to convince himself as much as me.

“At least the reunions will be amazing” I added, trying to find a bright spot.

“And the farewells” he added with a small smile.

It wasn’t a perfect solution, but then there wasn’t a perfect solution. He and Dot had survived the separations and in truth, it may even be what had kept their relationship alive as long as it did. Then again, it may have been the strain that finally broke the bond they’d shared. Whatever happened between them, Jon was determined that we would find a way to survive this. He was older now and more mature and he knew much better what to expect than he did then.

I was sad at the prospect of being separated from Jon and I’d given up my job just to avoid it. There seemed to be no easy answer, but I reminded myself that what didn’t kill us made us stronger. We had found each other after lifetimes of separation and I didn’t believe that had happened by chance. Perhaps this had always been the nature of our relationship and we were destined to repeat it, learning to be the strong individuals we had both become because of it.

Jon held me while we both prepared ourselves for the most difficult challenge we would face. The immediate tasks ahead of us seemed much easier now as we simply needed to get the house closed up and pack ourselves and the cats. Despite the disappointment I felt at not being able to accompany Jon to Europe, I was relieved and I felt we had made the right decision, even if it would be more difficult in the long run.

We packed up the clothes we wanted to take and Jon was determined to bring the paintings I’d stored in the garage. I also packed the cat beds, along with some toys and supplies while Jon set up timers around the house for the lights. We had decided not to bother to shut off the utilities, worrying that the pipes would freeze.

“What about the Chevelle?” I wondered, looking out through the kitchen window.

“We can leave it here for now. I’m sure it’ll be safe and I made enough room for it to fit in the garage” he replied.

Jon surveyed the array of boxes, packages and suitcases I’d been stacking in the living room and shook his head. There was quite an assortment and admittedly they were mostly mine. Jon hadn’t brought many clothes from home and he had bought a few things here, but nothing he didn’t have enough of already in Jersey. He’d packed the paintings and a box full of books; the rest of the stuff belonged to me and the cats.

“Is there another box left?” he called to me.

“There are a couple more downstairs yet. What size do you need?” I called back.

“One big enough for the kitchen sink” he smirked as he walked into the kitchen and came up behind me.

“Now stop that! I’m not packing that much” I said defensively.

“Babe, you can buy anything else you need in Jersey. They have stores there too, you know” he continued in a teasing voice.

“I know, I know. It just seems silly to buy stuff that I know I have here” I lamented.

“But we’ll be coming back here too eventually. You don’t want to cart it all the way back again, do you?” he said reasonably.

“No. I ‘spose you’re right” I admitted.

“I’m always right” he said smugly, flashing me that dazzling smile.

I tackled him and started to tickle him, but Jon was bigger and stronger. He grabbed me about the waist and held me at arm’s length as I fought to be able to reach him. His arms were longer than mine and he laughed at me, my hands just out of reach. Just then the phone rang and he sat me on the kitchen counter where I could reach the receiver.

“Saved by the bell” he grinned as I picked up the phone, panting from the struggle.

It was Cherie, checking to see that we’d made it home safely yesterday and wondering when we were leaving again. I gave her the rundown on our plans and promised to call her in a few days once we were all settled and asked if she’d like to come to Jersey for a show around the holidays. She had to talk to Dave, but she’d think about it.

“Do you think they’ll come up for a show?” Jon asked, anxious to repay them for watching the cats.

“I don’t know. Cherie isn’t the real spontaneous type, so she probably will need more notice” I smirked, thinking about how Cherie always planned everything months in advance.

“More than that? It’s a month away” Jon said, sounding surprised.

“You don’t know Cherie. Plus it might be hard for them to get a cat sitter during the holidays” I explained.

“Well, are we about ready and packed? I’ll call Vicky and see if she and the crew can fly in tomorrow” he suggested.

“I guess so since someone pointed out that we don’t need another kitchen sink” I smiled and Jon kissed me with a sigh of relief.