The Sauna Part 102

“Baby, I really had a great time today. It seems like it’s been so long since I had a chance to just feel like a normal person again” Jon reflected as he stretched out in the bed beside me.

“It was fun, wasn’t it? Actually, I’m just so content to be anywhere with you. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing or where we are as long as I‘m with you. That sounds so sappy, but it’s the truth!” I said, feeling almost embarrassed that I’d said it.

Jon rolled onto his side then and looked at me. His eyes searched mine and I could feel tears welling in my eyes for no good reason other than that I was feeling so close to him that it was hard to imagine being without him. I’d never felt such a deep sense of satisfaction in my entire life and I found myself suddenly emotional.

“Darlin’, I love you. You make every day magic for me too” he said softly.

He was so much more poetic than I was. I wished I had the words to really express what I felt, but they didn’t come as easily. But magic, that’s what it felt like when I was with him. There were times I felt seized with a panic that one day I would wake up and find it had all been a dream. But how could I say that without sounding needy as hell. I didn’t do needy and yet with him, I felt afraid of losing something I didn’t think I could live without.

“When you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose” I murmured, remembering the old Bob Dylan song.

“What?” he asked, sounding confused.

“It’s true. When you have nothing, there’s no reason to feel afraid, is there? It’s only now that I really understand what it is to fear losing something. Jon, I can’t imagine my life without you. I was never afraid of losing anything, but now …” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Ssshhhhsshhh, you’ll never lose me, baby, I promise. I’m right here” he whispered, pulling me tightly to him.

I felt like a little kid and I was ashamed for being suddenly so afraid. What’s wrong with me, I wondered. I’m not like this. But the more he comforted me, the harder I cried. It had nothing to do with the trip to New Jersey this week. It had to do with feeling more vulnerable than I’d ever felt in my life. I’d clung to my independence like an anchor, never worrying about much of anything. And now, all my sense of security seemed to lie in his hands.

“Jon, it isn’t the trip, you know. Really, I’m fine with that. I’m just not very good at needing someone the way I’ve come to need you” I explained.

“S’okay, baby, and I love that you need me because I need you too. We need each other. And it is kinda scary. So let’s just make sure that we always take care of each other, okay?” he said as he tilted his head back to look me in the eye again.

I nodded my head feebly in response. He was so much better at this than I was. There were things I could teach Jon, but it was he who taught me about love. And I was more than willing to learn.

He smoothed back my hair from my eyes and he kissed the tears on my cheeks. His smile was tender and warm as he looked at me with a lifetime of love in his eyes. Whatever fear I felt was replaced by the certainty that we would always be as one, inseparable, no matter what. The old, by now familiar passion began to burn inside me as my mouth sought his, finding it warm and inviting.

The kiss was tender at first, turning fiercer as the heat began to grow between us. With little preliminaries, Jon moved to straddle me and I opened to receive him. He slid inside me, like a hand fitting inside a tight glove, and we both groaned with the familiar feel of pleasure. Our bodies moved together in unison, pounding out an ancient rhythm as our eyes met with a smile.

It was as though we were one when we made love, with no real need for words. Our bodies communicated all that there was between us and we took our time, drinking our fill of one another. The feel of him inside me was almost as pleasurable as the orgasm itself and I was in no hurry to end the embrace, the closeness being more what I craved.

Jon paced himself with slow, delicious strokes, careful to avoid the quick, short bursts that would plunge him over the edge. Our mouths took precedence, hungry for the taste of each other, and the kisses became deeper and more fervent still. Jon’s fingers were wound in my hair, and he nipped at my neck while I spread my hands across his chest, reassuringly solid and comforting.

I tried to freeze the moment in my mind, capturing every sensation for later recall. I inhaled the essence of his scent, mixed slightly with the spicy cologne he was wearing. I listened to his breathing and the sound of his heart pounding relentlessly against my fingers, stroking his chest. I memorized the feel of his warm breath in my ear and the tickle of his hair as it brushed across my cheek. Every nuance was in itself an experience to be savored and enjoyed.

“I love you, baby” he whispered in a voice husky with desire and I murmured back my love for him.

Unable to stem the tide any longer, our bodies aflame with rising passion, we gave over to the approaching orgasm and let ourselves be carried away on its waves. The flood of warmth inside my belly coincided with the flood of emotion welling inside me and my release washed over me as tears fell like rain on my cheeks. He kissed the salty wetness away and I found his mouth once more, hungrily joining our lips in a symbolic embrace.

Time stood still as we were at once lovers and friends, husband and wife, man and woman. Jon’s tears mingled with my own and we laughed for the sheer joy of being one with each other. Magic could barely describe the sublime intimacy we shared at times like this.

“Oh, baby …” I breathed, coming back to this plane.

“Oh, yeah …” he chuckled and we both laughed at the inadequacy of words.

Slowly he withdrew from me and we rolled onto our sides, snugly fitted together like two halves of the same being. We smiled at each other and he kissed me tenderly and I traced the trail his tear had left upon his cheek.

“Goodnight, my sweet love” I said as he laid his head upon my breast.