The Sauna Part 108

As we ate our dinner, I looked up and saw Paul poke his head out from the kitchen and glance over at us. I nodded, letting him know we were okay, and Jon looked over as he disappeared back in the kitchen.

“I need to apologize to him too. I really made an ass of myself. He seems to genuinely care about you and this dinner is really good, even cold” Jon mumbled between mouthfuls.

“Yeah, Paul’s an amazing chef” I agreed.

Just as we were finishing up, Paul came back to the table and stiffly asked if we wanted anything else. I was stuffed and my appetite was somewhat diminished after the earlier encounter, so I passed on dessert. But it gave Jon the chance to make amends.

“Hey man, I’m really sorry about earlier. I shot my mouth off and I owe you an apology. And this meal was delicious, no wonder it’s Trish’s favorite” he said apologetically.

Paul had always been a sucker for compliments about his culinary talent and he took great pride in his art. He broke into a smile then, realizing that Jon and I had settled our differences and that there was no reason to hold a grudge.

“Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it. And to be honest, I’ll admit I was jerking your chain in the beginning too. And Trish, I’m sorry for starting the whole thing. Guess I wasn’t a very graceful loser. Let me make it up to you with dessert” he said, looking from Jon to me.

I smiled then, remembering how Paul always bribed his way back into my good graces after a fight with a special treat. I was a pushover for his desserts and he knew it. And I was glad he owned up to provoking Jon. I relented, and Paul disappeared again, reappearing moments later with two special crème brulees. I was never too full to make room for crème brulee.

As we savored our dessert, the remaining tension between us eased and soon it was as if nothing had come between us. We were laughing and joking again, the evening’s earlier unpleasantness behind us now. It was late and I was anxious to get home. We thanked Paul for dessert and Jon pulled out a wad of cash, intending to leave a sizeable tip, but Paul handed it back to him.

“This one’s on the house, man. Just treat her right, okay?” he added, extending his hand to shake Jon’s.

“You better believe it” Jon said, returning the handshake and we headed out the door.

My car was still next door at work and Jon had the Chevelle parked out front. I gave him a quick kiss before and told him I’d meet him at home before making my way to where my car was parked in the driveway. Paul was out back alone, smoking a cigarette, and he stopped me as I came around the corner of the building.

“Are we okay, hon? Is everything cool between you two?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think we’re good. We talked and Jon understands that you and I are friends” I said, making sure that Paul understood that as well.

“Okay, I getcha. But you know, if it ever changes, you know where I am, okay?” he added with a twisted smile.

“You’re bad” I grinned back. “But thanks. Whatever you said to Jon certainly set him straight and I appreciate that. I really love the guy, you know?” I said.

“I know. My loss, his gain. I just told him the truth, I can see how important he is to you and I know it was never serious like that between us” he said, sounding a little wistful.

“Thanks, Paul. You’ll always be special to me. See ya next week?” I said as I gave him a hug.

“Yeah, hon. I’ll be here” he nodded, butting his cigarette before heading back to work.

I drove home alone, thinking about the evening and realized it could have been a lot worse. Fortunately we had all been relatively mature and had managed to talk it through. And maybe it was a good thing after all. Sometimes a fight brought people closer together and it seemed like that was true this time. We both learned something about each other and that was a good thing.

I arrived home just after eight and Jon had the fire going and he was sitting on the couch with Eddie when I walked into the living room. He patted the seat next to him and I sat down as he pulled the blanket from last night up around us. I noticed that all the clothing was picked up from the floor and asked what he’d done with the wreckage.

“I threw it out this morning when I straightened up” he answered.

“Jon, they were just buttons. I could sew them on pretty easily” I scolded.

“Actually, the damage was a bit more extensive. Those buttons didn’t give way without a fight” he chuckled. “Besides, I can think of better things for you to do …” he said, kissing my neck.

“I’ll just bet you can …” I teased back, returning the kiss as I cuddled against him.

We sat there for a long time, just quietly, each lost in our own thoughts, but content just to be together. I yawned and I started to feel sleepy. I always did after a big meal and a long day. But Jon had something on his mind still.

“Babe?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m here” I said, my eyes still closed as I was starting to drift off.

“I really do trust you and I do respect you. I don’t know what made me act like that, I honestly don’t. I really never doubted you, I just felt threatened when I saw you and him seeming so comfortable together” he said, still dwelling on it.

“Jon, I usually stay friends with my ex’s. It’s hard to hate somebody I once cared about, that’s all. Like you and Dot” I said wearily.

“I guess I’m just selfish. I don’t want you to care about anybody else. I want to be the only one” he said.

I turned to look at him and he lowered his eyes, avoiding mine. What could I say? I had no intention of dismissing everyone I ever cared for in order to reassure him that he mattered most. But the way he avoided my gaze told me he didn’t really expect that. I raised his chin and forced him to meet my eyes.

“I understand the need to be the only one, but Jon, I can care about others without caring any less about you. Please understand that, okay?” I begged.

“I know that up here” he replied, pointing to his head. “It’s just here where I’m having a little trouble” he explained, pointing to his heart. “I’m not asking you to change, really. It’s one of the things I love about you. I just needed to explain. It really bothered me for you to think that I didn’t trust you, but I could see why you’d have thought that from the way I behaved. I’m kinda used to being the center of attention, you know” he added, smiling ruefully.

“Yes, I see that” I laughed. “But I’m glad to know that you trust me because I would never cheat on you. And not just because I love you. But because I respect you, and I respect myself” I said finally.

“I get that now, darlin’. And I can accept that your entire world does not revolve around me, and it shouldn’t. I never realized how possessive I am. I guess I am a control freak, aren’t I?” he asked seriously.

“Yeah, you are” I agreed, laughing a little. “But neither of us is perfect, love. A little personal growth won’t kill either of us. I could learn to be more sensitive too and less reactive” I admitted.

“Just as long as we grow together” he said, hugging me tightly.

“Deal” I suggested, and we shook on it before heading off to bed.

Everything felt right with the world again. We each had our baggage to work on.